CELEBRATING WITH DISABILITIES
As your celebrant I can assist in facilitating the marking of significant occasions. A ceremony brings more attention, weightiness, thought and reflection to the event. I’ve spent my entire personal and professional life with individuals who have challenges different to the norm, experience life in sometimes unfathomable ways, and for whom our expectations are different.
I understand that the engagement parties, weddings, births, completion of a degree, and some of those other typical events that result in parties, joy and pride may not be options for some of us or our family members. Many of us will celebrate events and achievements that most families would never consider significant. I recall well the first time that my family managed a meal out in a restaurant all together. It was an absolutely massive achievement that took years to accomplish. It’s a humble win many families wouldn’t think twice about, but was certainly celebration worthy to us – having taken years of preparation, learning, strategising and management.
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My daughter, who is on the autism spectrum, recently had a ‘Coming Out’ party. She reflected ahead of the event that is would probably be the most significant celebration of her life. As I thought about this, I realised that this was most likely true. It is highly improbable that she will ever marry, have a baby, buy a house or any of those big milestones of the neurotypical world. And so, we attributed a similar significance of all of those events put together, into her party. We considered the guest list carefully, what we would wear, the food, the location, ceremonial aspects that we could include. We gave it a similar degree of attention, preparation and importance as we would a wedding. This was, after all, her life event.
A 'sand ceremony’ ensured that Pen had something tangible to take away from the event. Guests brought an individually coloured vial of sand to pour into the bottle that Pen held, symbolising their acceptance and support of her identity as gay, or as she sometimes says ‘a rainbow person’. Pen now has a beautiful bottle of rainbow sand that she values highly for what it represents. She knows exactly which colour was poured in by each individual.
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Life can be so tough at times for families managing disability, and my own personal experience of this impressed on me the importance of celebrating whenever possible, whatever possible. We need to put a spotlight on special moments and celebrate them for all they are worth. My grandmother once said that I was always looking for a party, and that life wasn’t like that. Well, mine is! I don’t allow the hard times to colour my life picture, I fill as many spaces as possible through amplification of the good, the joy and the positive.
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And this is what I want to help you to achieve. If you are a family who navigates around disability, I want to assist you to maximise the joy possible to you, to put a spotlight on it, name it up and to live in it for a time.
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Ceremony and celebration is life enrichment
I invite you to ponder this. What might be a significant milestone for your offspring? A little walk five days a week for the course of a year might equate to being an Olympic sportsperson, maintaining involvement with a TAFE course might equate to achieving a PhD. Preparing the same meal once a week during the course of three months might equate to being a highly successful chef, maintaining a job for a few hours a week over a course of 6 months, maintaining a friend for a year, getting about independently, adopting a new pet into the family, are all very significant and celebration-worthy events.
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I’m very well aware that our pets often play very significant roles in the lives of our special children, and it might be that a funeral for a family pet is highly important in the loving and letting go process.
If marriage might be an option in your family, I’m able to assist with the understanding of the concept and the legal commitment. Similarly, in any ceremony I am extremely tuned in to sensory sensitives and special needs and have a plethora of strategies and experience to help the individual achieve success in a given environment.
Search for achievements to put the spotlight on, and celebrate more!